Resolve

I don't know that I have EVER made a New Years resolution. I think I know myself well enough to know that I would just disappoint myself a few weeks in. This year, however, things seem to be going so different. This is not due to resolutions I made, but rather things that have been pressing on my heart and so I have resolved, not just for 2010, but for the long run, to make some changes to my life and our lives as a family. These are not BIG things by any means, but I feel they are really making a big impact...and not even on the outside but mostly on the inside...my inside!

A few days in to 2010 I decided to finally put aside my stubborn will against suggestions given by my Mom and start making the girls eat all meals and snacks at the kitchen table. They generally eat breakfast and lunch in the back room at a little kids table and snacks are carried all around the house. This has had the most obvious impact on the cleanliness of our house. I was CONSTANTLY vacuuming and sweeping and tiding up and griping at the girls to clean up after themselves. Now that all eating is confined to one space there is a two fold blessing: 1. I spend much less time cleaning and much MORE time with the girls. I use the time eating to talk together, read or just be quiet together. 2. I spend much LESS time following around griping at them. Not only was that a strain on me, but I can't imagine what it was for the girls.

With that in place, I am amazed at the peace God has given me and the confidence He has allowed me to have about my mothering. I LOVE my girls but I am not good at engaging them. There are always other things that distract me from what my real "job" is. So now that cleaning is limited to about 2x's a week I am freed up to sit down about 20 min/hr. to play with the girls. That doesn't sound like much, but it is and it makes a big difference in them.

The biggest change of 2010 happened on January 6th when Jeff and I started a "Read though the Bible" program laid out by our church. Yes, we started a few days late, but I tell you what, I CANNOT get enough of it. I have always been afraid of starting something like this b/c I have a hard time completing thing, similar to my fear of resolutions. With this study it seems that fear is gone. There is room for days of rest and reflection and CATCH UP! FREEDOM is what that means! Freedom from feeling condemned and like a failure! The other exciting aspect is that I'm actually using my study Bible. I never paid attention to what all those notes were b/c I just assumed it was over my head, but it has made the reading more understandable and accessible.

So my year is off with a bang. There are days that are still trying and difficult, but I feel much more hopeful than I have in years past. I will resolve to ALWAYS rest in the comfort and affection of the author and finisher of my salvation, not just in 2010 but for always!